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Monday, 23 June 2008

  • Logging in and posting to keep my old entries. Not that there is anything super special in them. It's just nice to be able to look back at things if I ever want to. Have I yet? No. Will I? Maybe someday. And maybe someday I'll finally get a copy of all my entries on my computer so I won't have to do this again.

    2008 has been a great year. It's been rough the last few, but things are actually starting to take a turn for the better. Okay so the economy and stuff isn't doing so great nowadays, so maybe not the right choice of words. It makes me happy that I'm able to look back at this year so far and just smile.

    Updates...BIGGEST NEWS of the year, my best friends are engaged and have a new house. Alice is married to Chris. Erica is expecting a baby in July. Emjay will be getting married in August. As for me, no ring yet. I think I said a long time ago that I wanted to get engaged by 24...but my best friend is living out that dream for me so that makes me happy  I predicted them getting engaged June 2008 four years ago...I'm freaking awesome. HA. I don't think I'm quite ready for all that anyway. I feel old, but I still feel too young. I feel like time is at a stand still for me.

    Pictures are always good. So I'll add pictures now. I'm a little worn out from too much working...

    IMG_9677 IMG_9680 IMG_9699 IMG_9715

    IMG_2999 IMG_3051 IMG_3117 IMG_3155

     IMG_3173 IMG_1337 IMG_1425 IMG_1031

    n6210604_37929404_3106 n6221676_37934071_4378 n6221676_37934073_4960 IMG_2766

    06052008(018) 06052008(024)

     

Monday, 03 December 2007

  • so i was forced to log into xanga to leave a comment on an amusing story i read today. it was about a guy getting hit by a car, but i was cracking up. i have a twisted head. or maybe i'm just stressed and tired and not thinking right. or maybe i am just making excuses for myself now.

    anyway, i decided to write another entry since it has almost been a whole year since my last one. does anybody even use xanga anymore? i'm sad to say it took me a while to figure out how to post a new entry, since they changed it up. so yeah. going back to the previous paragraph, it must be the lack of sleep.

    at thanksgiving i think i actually lost weight this year. we made 2 stops, and i was VERY UPSET that nobody made my favorite- egg rolls. that was the one thing i was looking forward to. we got to the first house and there were no egg rolls. so i had a snack to save room for the next house. and then we got there and not only were there no egg rolls, but they only had typical thanksgiving food. what the crap. other than the food upsetting me, it was nice to see my cousins whom i haven't seen in 2 years.

    hmm..updates. erica is married now. alice is engaged and planning her wedding for next may. emjay is engaged and planning her wedding...for next august? i found out stella and andy are engaged at erica's wedding. that was like a year late, huh. hahaha. i admit it, i'm out of the loop because i put myself there. my best friends are not engaged yet, but i am sure it will be coming soon.

    i have a lot of work to do. i have just been distracting myself for a bit, so i will get back to it now. but one thing that made me upset today is that i forgot about my ebay auction. TWICE!! i have been trying to win a stupid christmas gift, but keep getting caught up in work and both times someone beat me by 50 cents. WHAT THE CRAP! i'm so mad. grr. stupid ebay.

    just kidding, ebay. i love you.

Wednesday, 27 December 2006

  • hahaha. wow, xanga. i forgot all about you.

    obviously i've been busy. i've hardly seen anyone really all year. hardly even talked to anyone all year. trying to get things together and on track. 2006 has been crazy. i like life so much more now that i'm graduated and not stressing about doing homework and studying. although i do miss my roommates.

    the holidays have ok. i haven't even gotten to see my cousins on our normal thanksgiving/christmas get-togethers/eating fests. i'm not as close to them as i'd like to be but you know, they're family and i want them to be in my life. i want us to grow up old together. it'll make the holidays more hectic with deciding who's house we will end up going to, but i think it'd definitely be worth it.

    alice just called me and told me she got engaged. and again, i am probably the last to find out. but i am so incredibly happy for her.  i am still in tears. this is what actually inspired me to get on xanga today. hopefully i get to see her and all the other girls this weekend. DO NOT PLAN TO GO OUT ON FRIDAYS! geez. i work friday nights. i was already sad to have missed out on the mean santa exchange and sisterhood. sigh.

    erica has her date set for her wedding. and i'm one of the bridesmaids, hooray! i'm so excited. unfortunately for her, she put me and nicole in charge of planning her bridal shower/bachelorette party. hahaha. sorry in advance, erica

    i'm not gonna lie and say that things are going great. because more and more problems with health and wellness and stability seem to be taking over my family. so things are definitely hard. but i feel like i learned a lot more about myself. i'm beginning to start to like and value myself.  with the help of the people that really love me.  and i've realized more why it went through my forever-long states of depression. i really did focus too much on the things going wrong. and i have seen now what i need to change, and seen the difference, and i am learning to appreciate everything i have that is good.

    i didn't get to see my lil when she was in town. that made me kinda sad.  but i have a new townhouse!! woo hoo~ it's in centreville/borderline fairfax. currently my dad and brother are still living with me. but by the end of the summer, my brother will be away at college, and my dad will be retired and moving to the cambodia. or that's the plan for now. my own place. wow. i'm getting old.

    i guess this is kinda a goodbye to 2006. i'm thankful for doing so well and being so lucky with getting contacts and clients for my freelance work. i'm thankful for my new place. i'm thankful for my family and friends, and for getting to meet all the new people i've met. sorry for the randomness. i wonder if anyone ever really goes or checks xangas anymore. haha. yeah, i'm really out of the loop.

    2007. i'm turning 24. yikes. my plan was to get engaged when i'm 24. hA! looks like i've got 18 months to work on that. i'll let you know how it goes...

    p.s. hi rasmey  this was for you. and happy anniversary to you and tam!

Tuesday, 01 August 2006

  • holy crap i'm on xanga!
    the boss is out of town till tomorrow morning so I've got some extra time to prepare for the meeting this week. and then have some other things to put together but...right now i feel like they can wait 

    s p e c i f i c i t i e s have made me silent, apologetic, and awkard.
         yes, i know that is not a word. leave me alone.
    actually, don't. y'all have done enough of that for a while.
    know, i haven't called you either.

    i just have a tendency to W A R P myself up in my work.  doing one thing is never enough for me.  right now i'm doing graphics and webdesign and drafting during the day. part time at pauli motos for some spending money. once a week helping manage the club. once or twice or three times a week teaching people about software.  and any other time i can find i will try to do the modeling thing.  just cuz i realized how old i am getting, and i need to get some pictures of myself that i can look back and smile at before i start getting wrinkly and saggy and fat.  yay, i'm so excited !

    my life has just been the same, day in and day out. work. and work. and work.  and i hear people say that they admire me for what i'm doing.  but the people that i admire are the people that work and see their friends and their family and whoever else they want to see all the time too.  but not just see them.  spend time with them.

    i snooped around my girl's xangas for a bit.  i love the pictures.  they made me so happy to see everyone.  which made me think. and want to "complain" or explain or justify or do whatever it is i'm doing right now.  of which i am obviously not sure of.

    i guess i've just always been so worried about everything.  my life. my future. my bills. yeah i'm doing ok right now, but i feel like i need to be worried about later. when i get a house and get my car i don't want to be in debt.  and gotta save up when i get married to whomever i get married to.  cuz i want us to be set.  i want my family to be set.  and i have always felt like i would be more set than my husband.  just cuz the way i am and the way i work.  that's why i work so hard.  and i would rather worry now when i feel like i can do so much more about it...then later when i am old and tired.  i know, i know! i'm way too paranoid.

    i need a therapist.

    i really do want to play with everyone.  i just feel like playing is something that i need to put off.  and i know you need to balance work and play so you don't go crazy. (hA! too late...sigh. ) i miss my family. and my best friends. and my girls. and everyone else. (let me clarify now, just cuz you are in "everyone else" it's cuz you can't be classified and i refuse to list everyone's names right now).

    but y'all know that if you ever are in trouble and need something i will DROP what i'm doing to do anything i can for you.  those of you that have called know that.  just the ironic thing is because i have been mia for so long, i'm the last person anyone would think of calling. hA~  not so funny.

    i just checked weather.com and it's supposed to be freakin 101 degrees today! holy crap, has it really been that hot these past couple days? i haven't had time to go out and enjoy the weather. not that i would enjoy myself in 101 degree weather, but you know what i mean.

    and so i leave this xanga entry. done complaining and explaining. and i leave knowing what i wish i could do and very badly would like to do. but knowing that i will just go back to my ways of isolating and overworking myself.  besides those rare occasions of me being so completely down that there is no other thing that i can do but surround myself with people i love. because that is just the way that i am.

    thank you to the people that made it all the way through.

Thursday, 16 February 2006

  • i'm feeling lost.
    i don't know what i want to do with my life.  and i feel like everything i do now is definitely gonna decide how my life ends up.  pretty scary.  my life is on pause for safety, and i don't know when to start it up again.  i'm not really doing too much with my life, but i just feel so overwhelmed for some reason.

    lately i feel like i just wanna be left alone.  not cuz i don't love everyone, just cuz i feel like i need my alone time.  without having to worry about A N Y O N E else.  or worry about anyone else's thoughts on anything.  as selfish as that sounds.   i know i'm stupid.

    i dunno. i dunno...
    definitely haven't been feeling like myself lately.

    and my stupid computer is c o n s t a n t l y giving me problems. not fun.  i'm actually not working tonight so i'm gonna try to fix it after this.

    ok so now i gotta end on a happy note   so BIG NEWS!!
    my latest model call was for this new import show that they're gonna be shooting that's gonna air on UPN.  as of now, they've picked 5 models for the show.  and i'm one of them!!*   and they chose ME to be in the national ad!! i'm so excited!!!  i get to shoot that next month.  so time to start working out and toning my body cuz i don't wanna be one of those girls that girls look at and are like "why the hell did they pick her to be in that ad?"  yeah, girls are mad critical yo.

    anyways, they haven't worked out all the details with UPN yet, but basically the show is gonna be called URBAN CUSTOMS and it's gonna be about import cars (they didn't go much into detail about it).  everything is supposed to be worked out by next week and then they're gonna start telling us exactly what they want us to do, when the show starts to go into production, how much we get P A I D, blah blah blah.  cool huh?!   

    and lastly, happy birthday to all the birthdays in february!!  sung, my biggie who disappeared (anyone know where saira went?!), kdphi , nicole, angela, aimee (mini me), and susie!! yAY!*

    and here's some pics from last week to spice up the entry. cuz nobody reads anything anymore.


    the girls @ sung's bday


    nicole's bday (i wasn't there cuz nobody called me ) but i love this pic


    tina, julie!! who i haven't seen in forever , me


    dawa and me - we definitely do not look alike.


    ben, me, and yoonhie. i don't know why they are my friends.

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